Stephen's birthday.

This was a special birthday for Stephen. Since he was supposed to be turning a whole hand (5 years old), we planned a trip down to the Ronald McDonald house in Salt Lake. We were excited that their had been a new facility built that was absolutely amazing! We had the opportunity to provide dinner to all of the families that were using the facility while they were going through their own rollercoasters at Primary Children's hospital. It was an amazing experience to be of support to those families. We cooked and provided pulled pork sandwiches, salad, chips, lemonade, and apple crisp. The families were so grateful and I think that we really helped them! I didn't want to leave, I just wanted to stay down there forever... it felt so good to be of service to those that were struggling. I love them and felt an incredible amount of empathy for them. I am still thinking about each of them everyday. It was a blessing to have had this opportunity. We are so grateful for our family members that were able to come and help and support us and show their love for Stephen. I miss him terribly and love him so very much. I was organizing pictures today and found a short essay that I had written a few years ago on MOTHERHOOD. I thought I would attach it to the end of this blog for Stephen's birthday.

We celebrated with cake and ice cream with the kids the night of Stephen's birthday. Daddy made a spectacular cake and we sure enjoyed it. These kids are incredible. Stephen has really left a great imprint on each of their hearts, even the two younger boys who weren't yet with us when Stephen was born into our family. They love him so very much and have a great understanding of how valuable each of them are.

Motherhood

Motherhood is what makes up the very air that I breathe, it’s the very thing running through my veins Sunday through Monday of every single week, twenty-four hours a day. This divine calling of Motherhood has undoubtedly evoked both my greatest joys, as well as my greatest heartaches; bringing me to my knees more than I can count; both in sincere gratitude and in pure desperation. Motherhood is literally anchored to the very depths of my soul, giving me an identity and teaching me what I’m truly capable of. My name is Jessica Laura Bowman and I am the literal spirit daughter of The Creator of Heaven and Earth and I am eternally blessed to be the Mother to four of His most precious spirit children.

Just over two years ago, our third child (second son) was born with foreseen heart complications that we later discovered would take his very life. Having full faith in the Lord’s will for our son, my husband and I chose to take him off of all support at just seven days old. We were told during this process that we should expect him to return to our loving Heavenly Father fairly rapidly. Despite what we were told, we held our son and watched as he began to thrive, rather than decline. We were then given the sacred opportunity to take him the three hour drive home, where he continued to live for thirty seven additional days. We lived in each and every moment as our children held, read, sang to, and bonded with their new baby brother. The total allotted time with our precious son was forty four days, wherein I learned of and experienced the miracle and value of both motherhood and time.

Motherhood is a blessing so valuable that it goes beyond this life and on into the eternities. Finding the strength to prevail on into the eternities has been and always will be half the battle. I believe that discovering and defining my own divine stature, nature, and unique traits that my loving Father has given me has helped win me the war thus far. It frightens me to think about how I am going to survive all the transitions of motherhood, the passing of time, and then allowing them to grow up without constantly harboring fear over them. Motherhood has given me such undeniable faith, resilient courage, and a far more optimistic perspective on life. The love and fierce devotion I feel for each of my children is deeply rooted into the very core that centers and sustains me. Their dependence is partly what makes these small years exhausting and yet the thought of that ever changing is devastating. My children irrefutably own my heart and it is with the entirety of that same heart that I treasure Motherhood here on earth and will likewise in the world to come.