Our latest....

Make sure you don't miss this home video that we just showed all of our grandparents today!

Happy Grandparents day to all of you special Grandpas and Grandmas!!!

We sure love all of our special grandparents!

Once again, please remember to pause the blog music....

Now that you've heard our good news... take a peek at our surprise night (last night) for the kids!!!

Aaron and I drove the kids to the cemetery and brought the computer. Aaron showed the kids this video of when we first heard Stephen's heart beat, then he showed them the video that was at the end of the home video above, of baby #4's heart beat. He asked them what the videos were of? ....AND their reply to both was "listening to Stephen's heartbeat." So Aaron said, nooooooo this video is from just the other day when we came to Pocatello. Then he told them, that this was another baby's heartbeat in Mommy's belly. He then told them that Stephen was going to be a big brother!!! They were SOOOOOOooooo excited!!!! Then we explained to them what that home video meant. They were super excited to share the news with all of their grandparents today! They kept our BIG secret all morning!!! I was super proud of them both.

They jumped on me in pure excitement. Their smiles in this picture say a lot. They have been praying every single night for a healthy baby. They always remember Stephen and love to talk about him. They miss everything about him. One of the first things that Wesley said to me is.... that is why you've been sick. He told his aunt and uncle the other night, Guess what.... my mom throws up when she wakes up too early in the morning. Isn't that weird? I cleared my throat and tried not to laugh. Luckily they never caught on... too darn funny.

We stayed and talked about it a bit more and then got the kids some subway to take home! Then we ate some delicious chocolate and vanilla creme puffs that Daddy had made!!! Our family is so excited, anxious, nervous, and very positive about our exciting news!!! Our hearts ache for Stephen and will forever and ever. Our love for our new lil' "bun" is enormous! Please pray and continue to pray with us as we pray for baby Bowman. I can't help but wonder if Stephen is working with Heavenly Father to send this little miracle to us. And that is exactly what a child is.... a complete miracle--- each and every one of them. I love each of my miracles with all my heart..... and their Dad is purrrrty cool too!

The short while.

I am so impressed with my children [at least, on most days].

Wesley and Emma have an amazing knowledge of both, mortal death and eternal life.

It's comforting to know that they understand.

While dealing with the loss of their baby brother, they too--- have had their days & their moments.

Yet both of them have always remembered to thank Heavenly Father

every night, through prayer.....

for the short while.

The 44 days of LOVING Stephen

&

the 37 days of BONDING with Stephen at home

were well worth all 39 weeks of being pregnant with him.

Sometimes because I carried him all those months, I feel like I had him a little longer.

We all know that a short while is never long enough.

There is no time that could be mentioned that would seem like long enough

& that is why---- again, that I am so grateful for the Lord's promise

of

a whole flippin' ETERNITY.

[that might be long enough]

Don't forget to read today's other post below...

15 days old... what a miracle!

30th- 15 days old.

29th- 14 days old. TWO WEEKS.
Happy 2 week Birthday STEPHEN!

28th- 13 days old.

27th-12 days old.

26th- 11 days old.

25th- 10 days old.

24th- 9 days old.

23rd- 8 days old. GOING HOME DAY!

22nd- 7 days old.

21st- 6 days old.

20th- 5 days old.

19th- 4 days old.

18th- 3 days old.

17th- 2 days old.

16th- 1 day old.

15th- Stephen Eric's Birthday!

13 days old.

STEPHEN.

Stephen is doing great.... except for being fussy about the hard life he has been given, he is beginning to understand the love of his family. I feel it and see it in his eyes. He calms easier and easier everyday. I wish I could take away his pain. All I can do is offer him comfort by loving him and sometimes that just doesn't seem like enough. I feel as if he deserves longer naps, longer feeds, and a longer life. For now we just love him the best that we know how and can. We love this little guy and love to see his wrinkles in his forehead and long fingers and toes. He is amazing! What a sweet spirit he has! He makes me smile.... and cry. I just feel like I can't love him enough. He is truly a blessing and what a tough little guy he is. Wes and Emma are struggling a bit for Mommy and Daddy's attention, but I think they are all adjusting.. well we all are. It has been quite a journey already. They wonder when, as we all do... when Stephen will return to his Heavenly Father, but until then... Stephen will get plenty of "pets", kisses, and attention. He is loved very much by these two siblings of his. They are truly wonderful with him. As we go through times like this, which we all hope to NEVER have to experience... often times the best thing we can do for ourselves is find comfort each and everyday... that allows us to go forth and be stronger and more determined. I hope this helps you today.Here is some comfort for your day... at least for mine. I love these quotes. A special thanks to the individual who was inspired to share them with me....

Elder Wirthlin said, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

Russell M. Nelson said, "We can't fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."

Too Pure.

I have spent some time trying to understand. All I am able to understand is that he is a true blessing. I went back to a previous post (WEAK MOMENTS-- http://thisandthataboutthebowmans.blogspot.com/2009/09/weak-moments.html) and that is when I realized that in reality... I have already been preparing for this. I am grateful for that because I am further able to enjoy this little guy during this trying, yet spiritual time. I am afraid of how much I will miss him.... his cry, his beautiful eyes, his hair, his little nose, his perfect little spirit... oh, what a blessing Stephen is. I am blessed to be his mother. I can't imagine not having the opportunity to witness my other two children grow, smile, laugh, cry... As he is sitting in his swing next to me sleeping... I cannot imagine my life without him. I am extremely grateful, even if it be just a few precious days. I love him with all my heart and even if I've spent hours listening to him cry, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I know that I am his mommy and I will always and forever be his mommy. I am so grateful for my family and friends. Today I am especially grateful for the strength that I have gained from having my very own testimony. I haven't ever questioned the Plan of Salvation, but as you can imagine, I have been trying to understand it to the best of my ability-- I'm starting to realize that it is near impossible to fully understand, especially when your heart wants it to be different. I want him NOW and forever, not just forever in the here after. He has been with me for 9 months and although I know he will be part of our everyday... no matter what, my heart continues to ache to hold him in my arms forever- to take care of his every want, wish, and need . To be honest, the Plan of Salvation seems to good to be true-- How am I not losing him, when I am....? I think that is why this message of hope and truth warmed my heart today...

Too Pure to Live on Earth

“The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.”

Joseph Smith Jr., Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith (1976), 196–97.

Stephen is HOME.

After Stephen was born we had a very long week in the hospital. During that week he was on many medications, went through a lot of tests, and had surgery. One test that was done was an MRI of his little heart and the vessels that go to his lungs. After this MRI was done, the doctors told us that our little baby had the worst case scenario for his type of heart condition. The specialists were forced to tell us that they are unable to repair his heart and he has what they consider to be a Fatal Heart Defect. During the prenatal ultrasounds and heart consultations we had the impression that his condition was very complex and would lead to many difficult operations and procedures, but was potentially repairable. Now after the more advanced studies that have been done, we have been told that his heart condition is not operable and will cause Stephen to return home to his Heavenly Father sooner than we expected. We had prepared and expected this to happen on Friday Oct. 23, but Stephen has continued fighting and is doing better than we thought he would be doing. The doctors have told us that they do not know how long we will be able to have Stephen with us before he returns to Heaven, but at some point we will lose him due to his complex heart defects. The doctors advised us to bring Stephen home to be with his family so that we can enjoy him as much as possible while we still have him.

No one knows why this has happened, and the Doctors have told us that it is really just an unfortunate accident that happened during development. We know that Stephen is a very special spirit, a child of God, and is part of our family forever. We are trying to spend time together as a family and enjoy our baby while he is still with us. Our situation has not really changed much, other than we are now able to enjoy him at home rather than in the hospital. Because of this we are asking everyone to please hold off visiting for the time being, we need to keep him as healthy as possible and do not know how long we will get to keep him.

We really appreciate all the love and support we have felt from the community, our friends and family, please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, and if inclined to offer help please contact Liana Bowman for ideas or scheduling, 547-4222 (home).

We hope everyone understands how we feel during this difficult time and will continue to be as respectful as possible.

When looking at Stephen and seeing him in pictures, it is very hard to imagine that he has such complex defects in his heart, and we are amazed at how beautiful and perfect he is.